[新闻]Lifetime频道对"天佑鲍比"两位母亲的专访

王子の奶茶

采访人：Dayna Gross (D)   受访人: Sigourney Weaver (S)

D: Can you tell us about the real-life mom and activist you play in "Prayers for Bobby"?
能介绍一下"天佑鲍比"里面母亲的原型吗？

S: Mary Griffith was very a member of a very devout church. She taught the children Bible verses. She was very concerned that their family all go to heaven together. She perceived homosexuality as a sin, something that her young [gay son] Bobby could avoid to be "normal." She was determined to save him from hell.
Mary Griffith曾经是一位虔诚的基督教徒，她教导孩子们圣经章节，非常在意全家人在天堂团聚的愿景。她觉得同性恋是种罪，觉得她的Bobby可以回头变成“正常人”，于是决心要把他从地狱之路挽救回来。


D: What's the bond like between Mary and her son when she first discovers that he's gay?
当Mary发现儿子是同志后两人的关系是怎样的？

S: Their closeness continues. He wants to be saved. And it actually strengthens the intimacy between them, because she really believes that she can help him.
他们的关系仍然亲密。Bobby希望得到拯救，而Mary也确信能够帮助他，事实上两人反而更近了一层。

D: But that relationship changes?
但后来发生了改变？

S: As he gets older and their plan [to heal him of his homosexuality] doesn't work, she's so adamant that he's not trying to change that a rift starts to grow between them. In the end, it was feeling deprived of his family's love that drove [a suicidal] Bobby off a bridge. It's something Mary has to live with every single day.
随着Bobby长大，他意识到（“治愈他同性恋病"的）计划没有见效，而Mary非常固执地认为Bobby没有尽力，于是他们开始有了隔阂。导致Bobby从桥上跳下（自杀）的原因正是他感觉不再拥有家人的爱。Mary无时无刻不因此耿耿于怀。


D: What was it like to meet the real Mary?
和现实的Mary会面是什么感觉？

S: We talked a lot, but we also expressed a lot without speaking. She's such a charming and warm woman. There are pictures of Bobby everywhere. That told me a lot.
我们谈了很多，同时也有很多无声的交流。她非常热心并且平易近人，处处都摆放着Bobby的照片。我领悟了很多东西。


D: Did you discuss Mary's journey from the very beginning?
你们从头聊起Mary心路历程的吗？

S: Yes. She almost sounds as if she's describing a different person when she talks about herself in the old days. She was determined to save Bobby's soul, and it didn't matter how he was feeling. When I asked her what she believes now, her answer was, "God is unconditional love."
是的。她讲述过去的自己时就像在讲其他人。她说当时她下定决心要拯救Bobby的灵魂，无论他什么感受。当我问她现在相信什么，她回答“上帝就是无条件的爱”。

D: What do you think this story says about gay rights today?
你觉得这个故事对今天的同志维权有什么启示？

S: To me, gay rights are a part of the Constitution. There's nothing in the Constitution that says, "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness — oh, except for gay people." The fact that their ability to marry is not considered legitimate is just a bigger example of what happened to Mary — people operating on fear and ignorance. I don't know why people are so threatened.
对我来讲同志权益就是美国宪章的一部分。宪法没有说: “生命权、自由权和追求幸福的权利——噢，同性恋除外”。同性婚姻权被剥夺这件事恰恰是Mary遭遇的放大——人们依然生活在恐惧和无知中。我不明白为什么人们会感到威胁。

D: What's your hope for the future when it comes to gay rights?
你觉得未来的同志权益会怎样呢？

S: Eventually, I hope we'll look back on this as a shameful period of discrimination against our fellow humans beings. And I hope our new president, Barack Obama, will do a lot to change things.
我希望最终当我们反思这段历史时，会为这种对人类同胞的歧视感到羞愧。同时我也希望巴拉克•奥巴马总统会不遗余力地改变现状。

D: What drew you to this role?
这个角色哪个地方吸引你？

S: As a parent, I was fascinated by this kind of parental lack of acceptance of a child. But the main draw for me is that I have so many gay friends, each with their own staggering coming-out stories. To me, this story had to be told because this is not an uncommon problem. We want to reach not only the young kids struggling with this issue, but also their parents.
身为人母，我非常重视家长不愿接受孩子一事。更重要的是我有很多同志朋友，他们有着一段段的惨痛出柜史。我想Bobby的故事一定要为人所知，因为它揭示了非常普遍的问题。我们不只想让挣扎的年轻人知道这故事，也想让他们的父母知道。

D: Do you think this movie will help people?
你觉得这部电影会有帮助对吗？

S: It will reach a wide audience and hopefully give [gay] kids a way to reach out to their parents. The book [that the movie is based on] has done a lot of good and probably created a lot of discussion that the movie can further even more.
它将会面向相当广泛的一部分观众。我希望它能够引导年轻同志去跟他们的父母交流。（电影改编自的）原著让人受益匪浅，或许它未来引发的讨论会比电影还要多。

译者：Amras

小P

采访人：Dayna Gross (D)   受访人: Mary Griffith (M)

D: When you think of Bobby, do you have any favorite memories of him?
当你回想起Bobby的时候，有什么最难忘的事吗？

M: Bobby was always such a friendly kid. He'd just run up to strangers and give them a big hug. My other kids were very reserved. Bobby really loved people.
Bobby是个非常善良的孩子。碰到陌生人他都会跑上去给他们一个大大的拥抱。我其他的几个孩子都比较内敛，Bobby真的很热爱他人。

D: How long was it before your other son, Eddie, shared Bobby's secret about being gay?
你的另一个儿子Eddie在比你们早多久知道Bobby的秘密？

M: Actually, Eddie knew all along about Bobby's homosexuality. He knew for nearly two years before the rest of us. He had promised him that he would keep his secret from us, but when Bobby tried to commit suicide, he knew that he had to tell.
其实Eddie一直知道Bobby的性取向。他比我们提前约两年就知道了。他向Bobby保证过会保守秘密，单当Bobby尝试自杀后他觉得应该告诉我们。

D: Was there a single moment when you realized Bobby "didn't choose" to be gay?
你有没有想过可能Bobby并不是主动“选择”要当同志的？

M: There really wasn't a single moment. Until Bobby's death, I was convinced that I could fix him, and nothing was going to change my mind about that. I guess his death was the moment. It wasn't until then that I realized how close-minded I had been. Reverend Larry Whitesell and his church opened up new ways of seeing the Bible and religion that changed my life.
我当时真的没想过。直到Bobby去世，我都一直坚信可以治好他，没有任何事能够改变我的想法。我想转变发生在他的离开。那时我才意识到之前的观念是多么偏狭。Larry Whitesell牧师和他的教会让我学会了用新的方式去看待圣经和信仰，我的人生由此而改变。

D: Do you think Bobby's story would have been different if he'd come out in today's time?
你觉得要是Bobby的故事发生在今天这个社会，会有所不同么?

M: No, unfortunately. My mind-set was completely tied up in the word of the gospel, and I couldn't hear anything differently. It wouldn't have made a difference whether this happened yesterday or several years ago. I couldn't hear anything else.
很不幸，还是一样。我的思维完全被圣经的话禁锢住了，完全听不进其他任何不同意见。无论发生在昨天还是多年之前，我屏蔽了其他声音。

D: How do you and your family work to keep Bobby's memory alive?
你和你的家人是怎么留存对Bobby回忆的？

M: We all think that Bobby is with us every day, so we don't really need to do anything special for his anniversary. But I know that my niece, the one we see in the movie [she has a cameo], does take flowers to him occasionally.
我们都觉得Bobby一直与我们同在，所以无须特别为他做什么来缅怀他。但我知道我的侄女，就是电影里客串的那位，她现在还是偶尔带花去祭拜他。

D: What advice would you give to parents who have just found out that their child is gay?
你对那些刚发现子女是同志的家长们有什么建议？

M: I've talked to many parents about this over the years. And I guess I'd just tell them to listen to their kids and to try not to push their opinions on them.
过去几年中我跟许多家长都谈过。我想应该让他们用心去聆听孩子们的声音，尽量不要把自己的观念强加给他们。

D: Are any of the other members of your family involved in the advocacy work that you do?
还有其他家庭成员也和你一样投身同志维权的吗？

M: We all try to speak up whenever we can, whether it's at official functions or just when we hear something is wrong. And we do our speaking up when we vote. That's where we stand up for what we believe in. I have tons of letters from people who've said that I helped them. After the article in The Advocate came out [about my family], there were a ton of letters from people thanking us for [sharing] our story. People buy the book "Prayers for Bobby" to give to their parents when they come out. And not just kids. Roy [Leroy Aarons, the author of book] and I would be at signings and have 40-year-old men tell us that they hadn't been able to come out until they'd heard Bobby's story.
我们都尽量发出声音，无论是在正式演讲场合还是遇到错误观点时。我们投票时也如此。我们为自己相信的站出来。我收到很多来信说我帮到了他们。同志杂志《The Advocate》发表对我们一家的采访后我收到感谢信，谢谢我分享自己的故事。很多人向自己父母出柜时都会买《天佑鲍比》的书送给他们。不仅是年轻人，我和Roy (原著作者)在签售会就常常听到很多40多岁的人告诉我们，他们在听到Bobby的故事前一直没有勇气出柜。

D: What was it like having a cameo in this movie about your life?
客串这部电影有什么感想？

M: It was an amazing day [when we filmed it]. My husband and Bobby's uncle were with me. It was a lot of fun to film that first gay pride parade. It was like being there all over again. And the scene where Sigourney Weaver goes to hug the boy ... it makes me choke up thinking about it even now. That actually did happen. There was a boy in the crowd who smiled at me, and I went up and hugged him during that first parade.
拍摄那天实在很特别。我丈夫和Bobby的叔叔都陪着我。拍摄第一次同志游行的那幕很有意思，就像回到了那天。Sigourney Weaver走过去拥抱那孩子的那一幕，到现在我想起来还是会哽咽。因为真有此事。当时人群中有个男孩对着我微笑，于是我走过去拥抱了他。

D: Can you tell us a little about the scholarship fund that was founded in Bobby's name?
能和我们谈谈以Bobby命名的奖学金的情况吗？

M: It's given out through the Ally Action yearly to kids that support and work for gay and lesbian causes. It began as a $500 scholarship, but now it’s up to $1500 a year.
这是一个通过Ally Action（基金会）组织资助那些支持和热心同志事业的孩子的年度奖学金。开始是500美元，现在已经上升到1500美元了。

D: If you had the chance, is there something you would say to Bobby today?
如果有机会，今天的你会对Bobby说什么？

M: A lot of people ask me that. I would tell Bobby that he’s an equal, lovable and valuable part of creation. Actually that all of our children are. And I’m pretty sure that Bobby understands everything.
很多人都问过我这个。我会告诉Bobby他是上帝造物中平等、值得爱而且无比珍贵的一部分。事实上我们所有的孩子都是一样。我相信Bobby理解这一切。

D: What do you think Bobby would say about a movie being made about your family if he were alive now?
你觉得如果Bobby还活着，会怎样评价一部讲述你们家庭的电影？

M: I think he’d say, “You really didn’t need to do that, but thanks anyway.” That’s just the kind of kid that he was.
我想他会说“没必要的，不过还是谢谢你们”他就是这样的孩子。

翻译：王子の奶茶

hwangsk

感谢Mary Griffith所做的一切~~

赫赫K

如果有可能，很想见见这位母亲，我也信上帝，我一直在思考，我这样的人上帝创造我这样的人的理由是什么，一直觉得我有罪，看完这部影片我有了另一种答案---上帝爱我们本来的样子。

luc

故事很感人，Mary Griffith是位伟大的母亲，only if Bobby could see all these...
Sigourney Weaver演得很细腻，这是部十分成功的电影

vc86

看了这部电影那么多天了，但看到这篇采访，想起BOBBY还是哭了

天涯明月

BUCUO  DE  DIANYING

iceberg

thank god thank mother！

PSP3000

非常喜欢这个片子，看了2次，哭了2次~~

bricklifee

我看这部电影真是看一次哭一次，特别是最后游行那段，每当那音乐响起，我就会眼含热泪

clover999

TMB那本圣经～～害死了多少同志～～～

水瓶YE

想哭 同志也是需要爱的

晓春余寒

我想他会说“没必要的，不过还是谢谢你们”他就是这样的孩子。

这句话让我觉得现实中的鲍比那么可爱，善良，呵呵...不知道为什么

飞天小梦魔

很可惜当我和妈妈一起看了电影后，她一直哭一直哭～她说你这样我会一直不开心～我很无奈～我不知道该怎么办爸爸说我是畸形～我失去了生活的动力～

alexk

D: What's your hope for the future when it comes to gay rights?
你觉得未来的同志权益会怎样呢？

S: Eventually, I hope we'll look back on this as a shameful period of discrimination against our fellow humans beings. And I hope our new president, Barack Obama, will do a lot to change things.
我希望最终当我们反思这段历史时，会为这种对人类同胞的歧视感到羞愧。同时我也希望巴拉克•奥巴马总统会不遗余力地改变现状。
----------------------------------------------------
说得很好，特别是这一段

十三

16# alexk


是啊，我们都要坚强的活下去

Jessenight

祝福这位母亲

mjwpc

我也我是哭了，很惨！！！

WillY

Many thanks to Mary and you 小P

ysf520

And the scene where Sigourney Weaver goes to hug the boy ... it makes me choke up thinking about it even now. That actually did happen. There was a boy in the crowd who smiled at me, and I went up and hugged him during that first parade.
-------------
can't stop crying now...

cookie8701

他们需要我们的理解-Prayers For Bobby（天佑bobby）

此影评谢绝转载~请大家注意了~！

这是一部同志片。
无可避免的，会涉及到很现实的问题。

故事的主人公，是一个叫做bobby的男孩，和他的母亲。

当发现自己的性向和别人不同的时候。
bobby陷入了一般同志都会陷入的窘境。

家族的反对，周围人的不理解和歧视。

这个梦想成为一个作家的20岁男孩。
没有办法找到自己的容身之处。

母亲对他的一句话，成了他自杀的致命原因

“I won't have a gay son”
我不要有同性恋的孩子

于是这个才20岁的孩子，在某一天也夜晚，从高架上跳下，结束了他年仅20岁的生命。

故事的重点在后半部分。

在此之前，bobby的母亲一直坚信
“we are his family, we know how to help him”

家庭members所谓的帮助，就是把bobby从gay的这条sick的道路上扭回正途。
可是结果呢，结果就是bobby毫不犹豫地跳下了天桥。

母亲在bobby死后，一直惶惶不安，他们一家都是虔诚的基督教徒，他们相信church所教给他们的一切。
他们只是想让bobby按照教义来正常的生活。
什么错都没有犯的bobby，为什么是有罪的（sin）。
母亲百思不得其解。

bobby的日记里面这样写道：

“I am slowly sinking in the vast lake of quick sand, a bottom of pool”
我慢慢陷入无边的流沙湖中，无底的深谭里面。
"I wish I could crowd in the rock and sleep forever"
我希望我能缩入岩石里面，永久的沉睡。
"no one understand me,no one in this house can accept my side of this story"
没有人理解我，在这个家里没有人从我的角度去接受我的故事。
"they can feel godside looking down at me with a pity"
他们觉得上帝在高出用同期的目光看我
"I can't let anyone know that I am not a straight would be so humilating"
我不能让任何人知道我不喜欢异性，那会让我觉得无比羞耻。
"my friends would hate me and my family.....they've said that they hate gays and even god hates gays"
我的朋友会憎恨我，我的家人，他们说他们憎恨同性恋甚至上帝也是。
"I really scares when they really talked that way because thay are now talking about me."
我很害怕他们这样说因为现在他们说的人就是我。
"I don't want to choose sin,I don't"
我不想选择罪，真的不想。
"I am so mad and frastrated to god, it seems to be the end of the road."
我对上帝如此的愤怒和沮丧，就像路到了尽头。
"why do you remain silent?"
为什么你依旧选择沉默？

读完日记的母亲，感受到的儿子的绝望和压抑。
于是她无法克制的跑到厕所里面痛哭。
她的孩子如此痛苦，她为什么什么都不能为他做？
难道之前为他做的，都是错的吗？
母亲无法理解，她所做的一切都是按照bible所说的一切，她没有错误的去劝导孩子。
为什么孩子，还是选择了自杀。
她的孩子是如此descent,funny,and grateful
为什么按照圣经的说法，上帝没有cure她的孩子，她的孩子依旧是有罪的？
母亲依旧无法理解。

于是她去质问一个支持同性恋群体的牧师。
我很喜欢这一段对话。

母亲质问：
“Is homosexual reality is an unforgivable sin? Leviticus ch18 22 says, if a man lies with another man, it is an abomination”

牧师回答：
“An abomination in that time didn’t mean sin, it mean unclean, Leviticus also say eating shellfishes are abomination or mixing fabrics”

母亲质问：
“Leviticus ch20 13, a man lies with another man, they both should be put to death.”

牧师回到：

“And he says the same thing, if a daughter or a child disables their parents, and we certainly shouldn’t interpret that literally.”

“Deuteronomy 22 If a woman is not a virgin on her wedding she should be taking to her father’s house and stoned to death.”

母亲依旧无法理解，她问道：“Homosexual reality is ok? They did permissible in god's eyes?”
“难道同性恋是可以的？在上帝眼里这是允许的？”

牧师回答到:
“I tell them what I believe to be the truth, that god loves them as they are.”
“我告诉他们我所相信的事实，就是上帝爱他们本来的样子。”

圣经所写的一切都不是绝对的。
写下圣经的还是人。解释的还是人，不同时代的解释都会被刻下时代的烙印。
我们如何理解他，或者质疑他，才能够得到答案。
而不是一味的去遵循他。

“I don't think god mind questions.”
我想上帝并不介意质疑。
"I think blind faith just as dangerous as mixin"
我想信仰缺失和迷信一样危险。
"sometimes to question it will help you have a deeper faith"
有些时候，去质疑他，才能让你得到更深刻的信仰。

参加了PFLAG（Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays。）的母亲，倾听了很多家庭的故事。
很多父母都是从一开始的不理解，到慢慢理解，问题的关键，是你一定要站在孩子的们的角度，去考虑这件事情。
很多的父母发现，其实孩子们的性取向，其实他们一直都知道，只是他们之前选择了闭上双眼。
以为闭上双眼，就可以什么也看不到，可事实上，现实依旧存在。

一定要去了解他们，而不是去一味得指责他们。因为他们，并没有错。

Mary，母亲，终于知道了自己的症结所在。

她跑去忏悔

“my son was always different.”
我的孩子从一开始就与众不同。

"His difference began his conception; I knew that, I felt it."
从我怀上他时就是，我知道，我能够感觉到。

"I knew now, why god didn’t cure bobby."
我现在知道，为什么上帝不治愈bobby

"He didn’t cure him because there is nothing wrong with him."
上帝不治愈他，是因为他根本没有病。

"I did this, I killed my son."
是我，是我杀了我的儿子。

人们总是在失去的时候
才能够体会到事物的重要性。
说着“我不要一个gay的儿子”母亲。
在失去儿子之后，才体会到他对她有多么的重要。
没有尝试去理解他，一味的苛责他，把她的孩子逼到了绝路。

在一个法案讨论会上。
这位母亲站了出来，说了下面这段话：

“homosexual reality is a sin”
同性恋是一种罪。

“Homosexuals are doomed to spend their eternity in hell”
同性恋注定永堕地狱

“if they want to change, they could be heeled of their evil ways”  
如果他们想改变，他们的罪恶将会被治愈

“If they returned from the temptation, they could be normally. If only they would try and try harder, if it doesn’t work.”
如果他们能够抗拒诱惑，他们就能够恢复正常。如果没有效果，他们只需要加倍的努力

“these are all the things I said to my son bobby when I found that he was gay”
这些都是我在发现我儿子bobby是同志的时候对他说的

“when he told me that he was homosexual, my world felt apart”
当他告诉我他是同性恋，我的世界崩塌了。

“I did everything I could to cure him of his sickness”
我做了一切我能够做到的，想要治愈他的“病”

“8 months ago, my son jumped over a bridge and killed himself”
8个月前，我的儿子从桥上跳下自杀了。

“I deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people.”
我非常的后悔我没有多了解男女同性恋。

“I see that everything I was taught and told was bigotry and dehumanization slander”
现在我才理解我之前被教导和灌输的都是狭隘的扭曲人性的诽谤


“If I had investigated beyond what I was told.”
如果我能够多做一番调查。

“If I just listen to my son, when he pulled his heart to me”
如果我能够倾听我儿子的声音，当他对我推心置腹的时候。

“I would not be standing here today with you, felt with regret.”
我今天就不会站在这里，看着你们，满心的悔恨。

“I believe that god was pleased with bobby’s kind and loving spirit, in god’s eye, kindness and love was it all about.”
我相信，上帝对bobby的善良和爱心感到满意，在上帝眼中，善良和关爱胜过一切。

“I didn’t know that each time I echoed the terminal damnation for gay people, each time I refer to bobby is sick, perverted and danger to our children.  ”
我没有意识到，每当我对同志作出天谴的指责的时候
每次我形容我的孩子的时候总是以病态，反常，并危害到我的其它孩子。

“His self esteem, his sense of worth, was being destroyed. In fact, his spirit broken beyond repaired.”
他的自尊,他的生存价值,就这样被毁掉了,事实上,他的灵魂破碎到无可补救.

“It was not god’s will, that bobby climb up of a freeway over pass and jumped directly into a pass of a 18 wheel truck and killed him instantly.”
爱网游，来网游国度战歌网
这绝对不是上帝的旨意，让bobby攀上交叉告诉公路的桥墩，然后纵身跳下，当场死亡。

“Bobby’s death was a direct result with his parents’ ignorance and fear with the word gay.”
bobby的死亡，是他的父母，对同志这个词的无知和恐惧造成的。

“He wanted to be a writer, his hopes and dreams should not be taken from him but they were”
他曾经想当一个作家，他的希望和梦想不应该被夺走，但事实就这样发生了

“There are children like bobby, sitting in your congregations.”
还有很多bobby这样的孩子，此时就坐在你们的议会厅中。

“Unknown to you, they will be listening as you echo amen .”
你们可能不会知道，就在你们说阿门的时候，他们会听到。

“and that will soon silence their prayers, their prayers to god for understanding, acceptance and for your love ”
这会令他们的祷告化作无声，他们向上帝祈祷被理解，认同和得到你们的爱。

“but you are hatred and fear and ignorance will silence this prayers ”
但你们对同志的仇恨，恐惧和无知，会把这些祷告化作无声。

“so before you echo amen in your home in place of worship , think ,think and remember that a child is listening.”
所以，当你们在家中，教堂说出阿门之前，想想，想想，有个孩子正在倾听。
我一个字一个字的把英文和中文打出来，是因为，这段太感人了，也相当的有道理。
这是一个母亲，在失去宝贵的孩子之后，对自己所做过的后悔以及对人们的劝解。

这个母亲，在她之后的人生里面
投身到了争取同志的权利活动中去。

她希望那些孩子，不要像她的孩子那样，放弃对生活的希望，对自己的希望。
而她
会努力的让这个世界变得更加好，更加的安全。

她希望，那些孩子们，永远都不要对爱失去信心。

dream1

不自觉地流泪了，太感人了。。。

yfpl

向往，羡慕以及美好的愿望

tian795

“You really didn’t need to do that, but thanks anyway.”

晕倒  看到这句话又让我感动。{:3_150:}

希米丽儿

社会会越来越公平的，世人的眼光也会改变的！